Noughts and Crosses

My two main reasons for a Nothing-New Year were to (1) generate less garbage and (2) save money.

Yet, despite having been waste-conscious for years and forced into thrift by circumstances for years likewise (not always overlapping), it is amazing how much more challenging it is to be thrifty when you are time-poor and not quite so money-poor as to have your back to wall.

This year started with a bunch of travel. Lucknow, first, for a "working leisure" trip that is typical of our profession. And two days later, Kolkata, to see my folks back home. Coming back, we had a day to sort ourselves out before we were again caught up on the hamster wheel—work from workplace, school, therapy, work from home, long commutes, a fortnight's dust and smog to scrub out...

In just the last fortnight, lessons were learnt on the road, and some challenges wore me out:

• On one trip, we packed food and forgot cutlery and napkins. That was messy. LESSON: As my friend Vru points out, the best-thought-out kit is no use unless you remember to pack it!
• On another, we thought we were being clever and asked for food to be packed by our hosts, so we would not have to buy our own in plastic packaging. We got sandwiches that were in disposable plastic boxes, which in turn were packed by the hotel inside a paper box. Amazing! LESSON: Specify the packaging concern.
• On the flight back home from Kolkata, we ended up seated further apart on the plane than I had bargained for, and our child went into meltdown mode with one parent. This meant I was unable to get to the packed food, which the co-parent had put up in a baggage bin (I am really short), and accepted the in-flight meal, with plastic cutlery, plastic trays and all. I managed to refuse the condiments and cups and beverages, even the excess of paper napkins; but I suspect they were trashed right along with the messy trays. LESSON: Keep your necessities to hand. Next time, I need to use a roomier backpack as personal item so that the food and kit are handy, under the seat in front of me, and not in the carry-on bag.
• Hotel rooms in India only offer plastic bottles for a hygienic supply. I don't have a way around this yet, as it is not really practical to carry three people's worth of hydration for a 3/4-day stay. Best I could do: drink up at mealtimes, and order hydrating meals, so as to need less bottles.
• Hygiene makes waste! Long road-trips in India seem to have this pitfall, that access to a clean toilet must be paid for by the purchase of a meal. It was too often the case. Best I could do: Choose non-cutlery foods, or those that came in reusable trays. At one such, I managed to buy a muffin in paper as the most minimal option and the child got a paper cup of boiled corn, while the spouse had a thali meal in a plastic tray (I was not happy that they each used a plastic spoon and paper napkin, given I had packed cutlery and napkins; but I had promised this would be my journey and I won't be forcing the issue with the rest of the family anyway).
• Some of the foods we packed, such as energy bars and crispbread, came in plastic packets that generated waste :-/ I just do not have the time or organization to make it all from scratch yet. 
• On a few occasions, I was able to head my child away from an ecologically poor choice. But he is less than five years old, and sometimes delayed gratification or better alternatives could not stave of the lure of instant satisfaction with a chocolate bar wrapped in plastic, or a drink with a straw. LESSON: Alternatives need to be kept more handy and more attractive; I need a running list and to be organized enough to ensure we aren't in a shop when he is hungry.
• I ended up in a cafe to meet an old friend, who had had a surgery recently and could not take the stairs (we were staying with family, and they don't have an elevator). There was literally nothing I could order that was plastic-free and okay for me or my child to eat or drink (neither of us can handle spicy foods; I struggle with sugars and carbs a lot).
• I had one takeaway meal (yesterday) because everyone else in the family wanted to, and I didn't have my own meal prepared already. LESSON: Keep a back-up meal in the fridge or cupboards, always.

There were some triumphs too:

• We managed to refuse plastic boxes for some cake slices and got them handed over in paper. Which, actually, mixed blessing—I have recently learnt you cannot recycle paper that is contaminated with food!
• I managed to bring food with NO waste for myself on one leg of the road trip and one leg of the flight. I had enough for the child, but he did want to share with the co-parent, who bought meals on both trips.
• Having packed extra empty food containers, I was able to refrigerate leftovers from our in-room meals at the hotel and bring them back for supper.
• We weathered at least one meltdown over a mango drink in a Tetrapak, with plastic straw, and after eating a sandwich (he was tired and hungry), my four-year-old finally conceded a glass jar of strawberry lemonade concentrate, made with seasonal produce and no additives, was a better choice.
• I was able to stick eating at home (or in the hotel) for the rest of the two trips, barring the one cafe visit—which I am super proud of, because nostalgia often fuels the eating out on trips 'home' and adventure on the trips to new destinations.

The biggest overall lesson has been to be a lot more organized around food (that has been the biggest pitfall, I see, over the fortnight), and to be stronger in the face of temptation from family and friends.

Wishlist for a Not-Much-New Year

I considered making 2018 a Nothing-New Year. Or a No-Spend one.

But I know that isn't going to work, not really.

There are things we need, if not I personally. My child needs a new carseat, the family car is  whinging about needing an update, and we broke the dining table with Yuletide festivities.

So: I am hoping for an Only-the-Essentials sort of 2018 instead.

Why wish for less?
Because the debt is making me anxious to the point of losing sleep, especially combined with the need for savings to very likely cover my child's adulthood. And I am missing the self-sufficiency I once had, financially. I am also missing the things I never did, because I spend the money on things that were each cheaper thrills (but totalled more than the required savings). Plus, after a few years of juggling setbacks, I am finally at a place where I have all my necessities covered, and the paranoia of being caught without is starting to recede. Also, not least, because it is bothering me to watch the world drown in stuff.

The plan: Less of stuff. More of experiences. 
That said, less of paying for experiences too, at least this year. I want to make paying off EMIs and other debts (and then building savings) a higher priority for this year. I also want to challenge myself to make more—cook more, craft more, maybe compost and grow more. I do want to travel—but it may be best to save for next year, and plan over this year (including getting the five-year-old's long-overdue passport and updating my own). Especially, I need to lay off on my two biggest non-essential expenditure categories below.

Enough with the eating out
I like to eat out as much as I travel, and yes, it is an experience. But I want to hit pause on this. Some experiences are amazing, and seem like value for money—like that meal at Masala Library in 2017. But they are not essential, not really. I need to re-evaluate entertainment as an "experience" that must be paid for—there are legit free movies and TV and books all over the Internet, and meals don't need to be paid for to be special. Also, too many disappointing meals were paid for last year—I need to find better use for my palate and wallet alike, for health and happiness.
Possible exception: Ice cream. The real kind.

Wardrobe holes: 0
I love dressing up; not just getting dressed. Because dressing up is fun, like painting my nails or colouring my hair. So I do have some things I want in shoes, bags and clothing—but nothing I really need, unless I manage to wear out literally a dozen pairs of footwear or underwear. Not likely. So, no more clothes and accessories. Not this year. (I should confess I am starting in a space of abundance, with plenty of room for shopping my own closet, thanks to a very generous friend—I should in fact be able to pass more of the bounty around, because I doubt I can use quite so much in even a whole year.)

And while this plan pertains to me, not the whole family, I will be looking to shop less for my child's wardrobe as well, this year. He is hard on his clothes at times, and needs at least six of every item (pants, underwear, socks, t-shirts, sweatshirts), barring outerwear like parka, cap, gloves and swimwear. However, unless he has a drastic growth spurt, he should be good at least till next winter.

What I will still spend on:

1. Groceries, basically food and cleaning supplies... and toilet paper
2. Bulbs and batteries, as needed
3. Utilities and investments (electricity, piped gas, maintenance payments, phone and internet bills, library and cloud storage fees, music and movie subscriptions, insurances for car and home and health, petrol and other transportation, parking)
4. School fees and therapy 
5. Medical check-ups, therapies and medicines
6. Carseat
7. Dining table (we'll look at upcycled options, but cannot be sure of finding something suitable—this may need to be a new or bespoke object)
8. Clothes and shoes for the child if all footwear outgrown and less than six items of servicable clothing remain in a given category (well, the school shoes are pretty snug already, so at least one pair looks inevitable)
9. Haircuts (both child's and self)
10. Books for the child (I could manage not to, but he is learning to read a language in which ebook availability is limited, and free books even more restricted); drawing books (he does seem to run through them rather fast); and craft glue (ditto).

What I need to NOT spend on:

1. Prepared meals and beverages (so no cafe drinks and deli meals, no restaurant outings, except the reviews I do for work)
2. Toiletries and personal hygiene products, barring replacing my deo and toothpaste when I run out (I have enough stashed toiletries for a small commune); make-up (because I hardly use any, hence not needed)
3. Any physical books or too many ebooks for self—easy to overdo the latter because they don't occupy visible space; I shall try to stick with what's free from my library services
4. Toys, though the child is used to lots and especially around birthday and "Christmas" (which we don't even quite celebrate); but I do have something stashed away for his birthday and will work on making rather than purchasing more play things
5. Stationery
6. Hair accessories (see: haircuts!)
7. Holidays
8. Cookware, bakeware, crockery, cutlery and utensils
9. More cleaning supplies than strictly needed (so replace, but do not add to stash)
10. 'Surprises' to keep child busy on trips.

Challenges I foresee:

1. Finding alone time outside the house that is free and freely available. A lot of my 'eating out' is really a bid to be by myself in a calm space.
2. Socialising, of which a lot happens around ticketed outings and (again) at eateries in my life.
3. Being self-sufficient and not letting friends pay my way to bend the rules, because I have kind and generous friends.
4. Technology around the house is going to get outdated and beaten up; must resist the siren song of upgrades, barring protective covers (only if utterly ruined).
5. Ikea comes to India this year (ahem!).
6. With new school and therapy timings, I anticipate some struggles to be prepared with on-the-go meals, snacks and beverages at all times.
7. I could buy some things (appliances, entertainment, toys) second-hand, but the co-parent tends to be biased against and resists this option.
8. I need to get more active, and this MAY need more of an outlay than I currently anticipate (for one, the bicycle I still don't know how to ride needs fixing, before I can actually learn; a swimsuit that fits may be another if I succeed in getting fitter, actually!).
9. Watching other family members have fun can cause envy.
10. It is easy to be tempted into curtailing the child's wants—but he has not signed up for this, I have, and while I will talk to him about what I am doing and why, I am not going to insist he follow my rules (this year will be challenging enough for him anyway).

But why not start on January 1?

Because the Yuletide season tends to be splurge-inducing around here. And I want to aim for a more frugal fun experience for the next year. So I wanted to be sure to include January 1, 2019, in my Only-the-Essentials year, and see how we fare.

This isn't very frugal, though, is it?
Maybe not. After all, there is a lot of inessential subscription services involved. Then again, I am not exactly aiming for a zero-waste home or a pretence at poverty. I am privileged, and I need to own that. At the same time, I am hoping the reductions are better than going on as we were. Doing nothing cannot be any better, right? And this will mean huge emphasis on better time management (procrastinator par excellence, here)—though time is a commodity in major short supply where I live, partly due to my family's conscious lifestyle choices and partly because of the way the dice landed for us. So this is still pretty challenging. (I will own I am a little scared. Which is why I am publicly committing to it—for accountability.) Oh, and it also means giving up my Tattoo at 42 dream till next year (good thing I don't have a design finalized—that would be harder!).

So, can I do it? Will my friends still see me, and will my family lose their patience? Let's see. I will update monthly, and more often if interesting things transpire.